her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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