i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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