her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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