Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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