Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
