I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
