Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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