just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
