Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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