i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
