Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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