My underwear smells like fireworks.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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