Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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