i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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