I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mom said you looked used
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
