: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
