Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
