Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
