and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
