My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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