Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
