the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
