she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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