420 ftw
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
