is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
