Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
