What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
