You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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