She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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