remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
