I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
