i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
