D3 body, D1 cock
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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