My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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