Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize