Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
