I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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