That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
