dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
