I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
