I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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