break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
