Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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