I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
