just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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