After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
