I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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