You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
