Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
