escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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