i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
