things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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