saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize